Most people think a spiritual awakening is this huge, life-changing event. A breakdown that leads to a breakthrough.
It doesn’t have to be. So what is a spiritual awakening? For me, it’s simple: a single moment of awareness, realising that every moment contains love, and that love is a choice. You don’t have to go through a dark night of the soul to get there. It can happen in a heartbeat.
Let me ask you something first. Can you single out the happiest moment of your life? I bet you shared it with someone else… and that’s not a coincidence.
A spiritual awakening doesn’t have to be dramatic
We tend to picture awakening as fireworks. Visions, a total collapse, a whole new life.
Sometimes it is like that. But a lot of the time it’s quieter. A moment where something you’ve always half-known suddenly lands. You see it, and you can’t unsee it.
That’s what happened to me at a wedding.
The moment it landed: a wedding under the trees
I was at a friend’s wedding, listening to them say their vows. Promising to lift each other up when they’re down. To support each other’s hobbies (and tolerate them!). To care for one another for the rest of their lives.
Right there, I had a realisation. Love doesn’t happen to you. Love is a choice. It’s a choice we make every day, every moment. Every moment contains love… but you have to choose to look for it.
How one choice ripples out
It wasn’t just the vows. It was everything that led to that day.
The couple chose each other to begin with, and that one choice rippled out like a pebble dropped in a pond. The location was a choice, a beautiful one under a canopy of trees. The flowers were a choice. Friends were asked to play music, and they chose to say yes, to express themselves. Friends and family read poems. The person leading the ceremony was one of the groom’s best friends, and he chose to be part of that moment for them.
All of those choices cascaded out of one original choice.
Sharing an orange
One of the poems read that day really stood out to me. It’s called The Orange, by Wendy Cope. Go and look it up after this. It’s short and it’s beautiful.
It’s about something as simple as sharing an orange with someone. In that tiny moment, you realise everything’s okay. It feels good to be alive, to share existence with someone, to choose the love in the moment.
Love between strangers: the coffee shop story
It doesn’t have to be the people closest to you. It can happen with a complete stranger.
A few years ago I watched a video about a man sitting alone in a coffee shop. Three older women walked in, and something about them (their perfume, the way they talked) reminded him of his mum, who’d died ten years earlier. He sat there missing her. What he’d give to have one more coffee with her and catch up like they used to.
He went back and forth on it, then decided: in memory of my mum, I’m going to do this. He went over and said, “Excuse me, you don’t know me, but you remind me of my mum. She passed away ten years ago. Would you mind if I bought you a coffee?”
There was a short silence. One of the women stood up, walked round the table, looked him in the eye and said, “My son died last week. He was exactly your age.”
She burst into tears and hugged him, and he hugged her back. Two strangers who needed each other in that exact moment, both choosing to share it.
Why choosing love feels like waking up
That story happened years ago. The first time I watched it, it moved me. Telling it again now, it moves me again. Maybe you’re feeling something too.
That tells me love doesn’t exist inside time. It exists outside of it. It comes before time. It’s baked into the foundation of the universe… and you’re part of the universe, so it’s baked into you.
You’re built to love
Think about your hands. You use them to express love. Cooking, putting your attention into the ingredients and then sharing the meal. Playing an instrument, like those musicians at the wedding, pouring your heart out through your fingers.
Your arms and hands are extensions of your heart. That’s why we hug. It’s like your heart wrapping around someone else’s.
We’re built for this. A spiritual awakening is realising that every moment contains love. It’s where we came from. It’s what we’re built for. It’s what we come back to. You just have to choose to look for it… and when you find it, share it.
What if it is a dark night of the soul?
Sometimes awakening is quick. Other times it’s long, and there’s real work involved. I wrote about that longer road in nigredo, when rock bottom becomes a spiritual awakening. When that’s the case, the best tool I’ve found for working on yourself is dream work. Your dreams are your own personal guidance, a direct line to your higher self. If you’re going through a hard time, paying attention to them is one of the best ways to connect with your inner guidance.
Questions people ask about spiritual awakening
What are the signs of a spiritual awakening?
Often it’s a shift in how you see ordinary moments. Things that felt meaningless start to feel connected, you notice synchronicities, and you care less about the masks and more about what’s real. It can be quiet rather than dramatic.
Does a spiritual awakening have to be painful?
No. Sometimes it follows a hard period, but it can just as easily be a single moment of clarity, like realising love is a choice you can make right now.
How long does a spiritual awakening last?
There’s no set length. A realisation can land in a second, while the process of living it out can take years. It’s less a finish line and more a way of seeing.
What triggers a spiritual awakening?
Anything that cracks open your usual way of seeing: a loss, a moment of deep connection, a dream, a conversation with a stranger. The trigger matters less than whether you choose to follow it.
See dream work in practice
If you’re going through something and want to see how dream work can help, I’ve interpreted a real dream for someone who was having a rough time. It’s free.